What Happened When I Stopped Waiting for Someone to Travel With
I was standing at the airport gate with a ticket in my hand, and for the first time in years, I was traveling alone. No backup plans, no shared playlists, no one to pass the window seat to. Just me, my overstuffed carry-on, and a faint sense of dread. Was this going to be liberating or just lonely?
The Waiting Game
For years, I had this habit. I’d scroll through flight deals, save dreamy travel itineraries, and then stop myself with a single thought: “Who’s going to come with me?” It wasn’t just about the company it was about the reassurance, the shared responsibility, and, if I’m honest, the fear of being alone. Traveling solo always seemed like something other people did, the kind of people who owned hiking boots and didn’t mind eating dinner at a restaurant by themselves.
But here’s the thing: waiting on someone else to join you whether it’s for a trip, a project, or even just trying something new can easily turn into just… waiting. You hear the same excuses: “I can’t get time off work,” “That sounds expensive,” or “Maybe next year.” Before you know it, years go by, and all you have is a Pinterest board full of places you never went.
The First Solo Trip: A Mix of Awkward and Awe
So, I booked the flight. No debate, no group chat polls just a decision made entirely by me, for me. My destination? Lisbon. A city I knew little about but had always been curious to visit.
The first day was… weird. I won’t sugarcoat it. I felt hyper-aware of every solo moment. Eating alone at a café felt like I was wearing a neon sign that screamed, “Table for one!” I overpacked my schedule, thinking constant activity would stave off any awkwardness. Spoiler: it didn’t. But something interesting happened on day three. I stopped caring. I lingered at a bookshop without worrying I was boring anyone. I wandered aimlessly through side streets, snapping photos of tiled buildings that caught my eye. I took my time at dinner, savoring the food without the need to fill silences with small talk.
And then it hit me: the awkwardness wasn’t in being alone; it was in my perception of it. Once I let go of the idea that I had to justify my solo presence, the freedom became intoxicating.
What I Gained by Letting Go of the “Plus-One” Mentality
Traveling solo taught me lessons I didn’t even know I needed. Here are just a few:
The World Is Friendlier Than You Think
I met people in the most unexpected ways a local who offered me directions turned into a walking tour guide, a fellow solo traveler at a wine bar swapped stories with me about her adventures in Greece. When you’re alone, you’re more open to these connections. It’s like the universe senses you’re available for a conversation and sends people your way.
You Learn to Trust Yourself
Lost? You’ll figure it out. Missed a train? You’ll catch the next one. There’s a quiet confidence that comes from solving problems on your own, whether it’s navigating an unfamiliar subway system or decoding a foreign menu. The more you rely on yourself, the less you feel the need to rely on others.
Time Feels Different
When you’re not working around someone else’s schedule, you can be fully present. If you want to spend an entire afternoon at a museum, you can. If you want to ditch your itinerary and watch the sunset from a random hill, you can. There’s no negotiation, no compromise just you and your whims.
The Myths of Solo Travel
Let’s address a couple of myths because, trust me, I’ve heard them all.
“Isn’t it dangerous?”
Look, the world isn’t a utopia, and yes, you should absolutely take precautions. But solo travel doesn’t automatically mean you’re walking into danger. Research your destination, trust your instincts, and always have a backup plan. I carried a copy of my passport in a separate bag and made sure someone back home had my itinerary. Common sense goes a long way.
“Won’t you get lonely?”
Sometimes, sure. But loneliness is not the enemy we make it out to be. In fact, being alone can be oddly restorative. I found that the moments of solitude helped me process my thoughts, recalibrate, and even appreciate the people in my life more. And if you do feel like talking to someone? Hostels, group tours, or even a chatty bartender can lead to great conversations.
The Unexpected Outcome
Here’s the funny part: the more I traveled solo, the more I realized it wasn’t just about the trips. It was about the mindset I was cultivating the ability to act without waiting for external validation or permission. It spilled over into other areas of my life. I started saying yes to things I’d usually talk myself out of: taking a painting class, trying a new hobby, even going to a concert by myself. Each time, it felt like a small victory, a reminder that I didn’t need a co-pilot to steer my life.
Should You Try It?
So, is solo travel for everyone? Maybe not. If you’re someone who thrives on shared experiences and feels happiest in a group, that’s perfectly valid. But if you’ve been holding yourself back waiting for the right timing, the right companion, or the right level of courage maybe it’s time to stop waiting. Start with a weekend trip. Pick a city nearby, pack light, and see how it feels. The worst that can happen? You’ll have some awkward moments and a few stories to tell. The best? You’ll discover a version of yourself you didn’t know existed.
And hey, even if you decide solo travel isn’t your thing, at least you’ll know. Isn’t that better than always wondering, “What if?”
Final Thought
Every trip isn’t going to be life-changing, and every moment won’t be Instagram-worthy. But when you stop waiting for someone else to join, you start traveling on your own terms. And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need. So, what are you waiting for?
